The Price

"...a friend till the end
That's the kind of girl she was
Taken away so young
Taken away without a warning"
Think Of Laura - Christopher Cross


Two weeks ago it happened again. Someone close to me passed away. With it comes the almost all too familiar Kubler-Ross five stages of mourning. It also has a even more painful and tragic spin as this was a friend who took her own life. A huge host of additional questions rise when this happens. It's a more sudden type of shock and there's no way to prepare or quickly come down from all of the emotion you feel. To make things worse, she was a co-worker and so each day going to work for the rest of the week triggered the feeling of reliving all of the emotion of that day. It was pretty horrible and I had to take moments through the day just to process the emotion of it all.

For the first time in my life I was to give a eulogy. Some of my words are folded in below along with thoughts now that I have some distance from the situation.

Her name was Sarah Robertson. She came from the roughest of backgrounds. She survived abuses too numerous to remember. She had both a rough and soft exterior. On the rough side, she wore too much makeup, had tattoos and piercings. On the soft side, she had an infectious laugh, a great sense of humor and was kind and generous. With those with her background it's easy to write her off as a wasted life. On the contrary, she was trying her best to make something of herself. She had become a marketing coordinator at our company, she was a loving mother and was very intelligent.

I described her in my eulogy with three words:

First was a peacock. Colorful, impacting and daring. She had the personality that you couldn't easily forget.

Second was Dharma from the TV show Dharma And Greg. Free spirited, artistic, generous, intelligent, loving/loveable, kind, cheerful, sensitive, persevering and compassionate. I once called her that and she really liked the comparison.

"I will fly away to them, to the royal birds; and they will beat me, because I, that am so ugly, dare to come near them. But it is all the same. Better be killed by them than to be pursued by ducks, and beaten by fowls, and pushed about by the girl who takes care of the poultry yard, and to suffer hunger in winter!" And it flew out into the water, and swam towards the beautiful swans: these looked at it, and came sailing down upon it with outspread wings. "Kill me!" said the poor creature, and bent its head down upon the water, expecting nothing but death. But what was this that it saw in the clear water? It beheld its own image; and, lo! it was no longer clumsy dark-gray bird, ugly and hateful to look at, but a - swan!
It matters nothing if one is born in a duck-yard, if one has only lain in a swan`s egg.
It felt quite glad at all the need and misfortune it had suffered, now it realized its happiness in all the splendor that surrounded it. And the great swans swam round it, and stroked it with their beaks."
The Ugly Duckling

Third was a swan. Grace, purity, beauty, elegance and mostly transformation. She once said she wished she was the swan in the story of The Ugly Duckling. I think it fit her life quite well. She grew up an outcast, abused and despised. But when she takes a deep look at herself, she had transformed into a swan. The important part was that all along the Ugly Duckling was always a swan. My deepest prayer is that God will now reveal to Sarah that she was a swan all along.

As with any suicide, there's so many questions. There's truly no answer to all of those questions. Also, there's the feeling of deep hurt and anger. I know it's selfish to think but when someone takes their own life it hurts those around them. My biggest hurt is wondering why she didn't reach out to those who truly had her best interests at heart. It's something that I will have to live with and be OK without an answer.

In search for an incomplete answer, I found it helpful writing her a letter. I also talked things through with close friends. It took me a while to just come to the conclusion that the weight of the life she had lived had been too much and she was likely battling depression. She was under a great deal of stress and the people around her and from her past were a great burden on her. In many ways, she had lived a full life.

Hebrews 10:19-25
 Therefore, brothers and sisters, since we have confidence to enter the Most Holy Place by the blood of Jesus, by a new and living way opened for us through the curtain, that is, his body, and since we have a great priest over the house of God, let us draw near to God with a sincere heart and with the full assurance that faith brings, having our hearts sprinkled to cleanse us from a guilty conscience and having our bodies washed with pure water. Let us hold unswervingly to the hope we profess, for he who promised is faithful.And let us consider how we may spur one another on toward love and good deeds, not giving up meeting together, as some are in the habit of doing, but encouraging one another—and all the more as you see the Day approaching.

My biggest take from all of this: drop your guard. Be transparent and find friends that you can really confide in. Lay all of your burdens before a Loving Heavenly Father where you can find the deep healing you need. Depression is a terrible condition and one you cannot deal with alone. The price of staying isolated from friends and God is far greater than the cost of transparency. The losses will continue and the price can be high. May we all find the healing that our Father so richly wants to offer us.

The Legacy Of Kings And Coaches

2 Chronicles 33:1-7
"Manasseh was twelve years old when he became king, and he reigned in Jerusalem fifty-five years. He did evil in the eyes of the Lord, following the detestable practices of the nations the Lord had driven out before the Israelites. He rebuilt the high places his father Hezekiah had demolished; he also erected altars to the Baals and made Asherah poles. He bowed down to all the starry hosts and worshiped them. He built altars in the temple of the Lord, of which the Lord had said, “My Name will remain in Jerusalem forever.” In both courts of the temple of the Lord, he built altars to all the starry hosts. He sacrificed his children in the fire in the Valley of Ben Hinnom, practiced divination and witchcraft, sought omens, and consulted mediums and spiritists. He did much evil in the eyes of the Lord, arousing his anger."
Of all the "bad" Kings of Judah many will point to Manasseh as the worst of them all. A privileged teen when he came to power, he pretty much led the country into moral ruin. Scholars believe that Asherah poles were in fact phallic symbols. He encouraged and participated in all sorts of pagan worship. Most shocking of all, he was all for child sacrifice and even sacrificed his very own children. One would like to think that a dirt bag like this would receive the worst and deepest of punishment:
2 Chronicles 33:11
"So the Lord brought against them the army commanders of the king of Assyria, who took Manasseh prisoner, put a hook in his nose, bound him with bronze shackles and took him to Babylon."
At this point we'd like the story to end. The sicko gets locked up and we all move on. Let him rot in his cell and the world is a better place. Not so:

2 Chronicles 33:12-17
"In his distress he sought the favor of the Lord his God and humbled himself greatly before the God of his ancestors. And when he prayed to him, the Lord was moved by his entreaty and listened to his plea; so he brought him back to Jerusalem and to his kingdom. Then Manasseh knew that the Lord is God.
Afterward he rebuilt the outer wall of the City of David, west of the Gihon spring in the valley, as far as the entrance of the Fish Gate and encircling the hill of Ophel; he also made it much higher. He stationed military commanders in all the fortified cities in Judah.
He got rid of the foreign gods and removed the image from the temple of the Lord, as well as all the altars he had built on the temple hill and in Jerusalem; and he threw them out of the city. Then he restored the altar of the Lord and sacrificed fellowship offerings and thank offerings on it, and told Judah to serve the Lord, the God of Israel. The people, however, continued to sacrifice at the high places, but only to the Lord their God."
Somewhere while Manasseh was in his cell he remembered the Lord and asked for forgiveness and God granted it! Proof that Manasseh's heart was changed was that he backed up his words with real action. So now we have a nice feel good story of redemption. This begs the question: Was Manasseh a "good" king or a "bad" one? I bring this up as we now have the dilemma of Joe Paterno.

Although he did not commit any abuse, he is accused of covering up the heinous acts of his former assistant coach, Jerry Sandusky. Vulnerable boys were sexually abused by this man while Paterno and the administration looked the other way and waffled on what to do. In the end, the football program was more important than the lives of innocent children and the crimes were either ignored or worse, covered up. Rick Reilly talks of the deception he fell for believing that this hailed program was headed by a saintly benevolent man. The NCAA handed down a bevy of huge sanctions against the football program. Most interesting to me was that all victories from 1998 to the present have been vacated. This was clearly a sanction against the legacy of Joe Paterno. This cost him 111 victories and drops him out from the title of the all time FBS coaching victory list (scary irony, this means the last quarterback to win a Penn State football game as of this writing is Mike McQueary the man who first help break the scandal). In the past 24 hours, Paterno's statue was removed from the football stadium.

Even two years ago, Paterno was viewed in awe: a man who ran a clean program that had never had a sniff of scandal. He also won a lot. In a sport rife with cheaters and law breakers, his program appeared remarkably pristine. His players graduated, he was and still is revered as a father figure to many, he donated millions to the school and the program brought millions more to the institution.
So this begs the question: is Paterno's legacy that of a great man who mentored, generously gave and won the "right" way or was he detached enabler who  created a culture that allowed a sexual predator to destroy the lives of countless children?
Good king? Bad king? Good coach? Bad coach? Good man? Evil man?
The lines on this are blurred. The issue is that we cannot measure a man's heart. Only God has that ability. Add to that, we are all human and capable of all sorts of heinous acts. Each and every one of us left unchecked can find ways to condone any sort of evil behavior. Yet in the same person we can find incredible acts of charity, generosity and self sacrifice. That is the dilemma. So as for legacies, both Manasseh the King and Paterno the coach will settle in to the largest pool. They are human: frail and capable of the most positive and negative acts.
Most of all they are both cautionary tales. With power comes the great magnifying glass of influence but also scrutiny. May we all bow down and recognize that the great and merciful Savior, the Extraordinary, is our only hope. Let us humbly lay before him our crowns along with our shortcomings. He is the healer.
James 4:10
"Humble yourselves before the Lord and He will lift you up."

Bandit's Dad Was A Smokey

When I bought my VMax motorcycle I was talking with my daughter, Ariel, about naming it and I came up with Sharky's Machine. As Ariel and I both enjoy watching the San Jose Sharks together along with the motorcycle being teal in color it kind of fit. The name Sharky's Machine is actually for an 80s action film starring Burt Reynolds. It's a typical guy film with a tough as nails cop and lots of bullets and a few explosions. It also features still one of the coolest stunts ever as a bad guy gets shot and falls through a high rise window. This week had AMC showing one of the most intense films of all time Deliverance. I'm sure I can find some time to write about the intensity and symbolism there, but I'll just leave it as getting to see Burt Reynolds with a broken bone sticking out of his leg is not for the faint of heart (if him getting his finger tips cut off in Sharky's Machine doesn't turn you stomach enough).

When I think of Reynolds I also think about a quote I heard at a men's group meeting with the Fight For Manhood. This is one of the most significant ministries I have been involved in and I highly recommend for you to check it out. Before I get to the quote just think of who Burt Reynolds is. At one time he was the biggest box office draw in the world. His hit movies include Smokey And The Bandit, The Longest Yard, and Gator to name a few. He has fame, fortune, the affection of glamorous women and was a star high school athlete. I know growing up he was considered the cool guy laughing at authority, making his own rules and carving out his own path. In many respects, he is the world's definition of a man's man. He has had all the world has to offer.


Ecclesiastes 2:10-11
I denied myself nothing my eyes desired;
    I refused my heart no pleasure.
My heart took delight in all my labor,
    and this was the reward for all my toil.
Yet when I surveyed all that my hands had done
    and what I had toiled to achieve,
everything was meaningless, a chasing after the wind; 
    nothing was gained under the sun.

Reynolds, like so many other men with riches, power, and fame are like Solomon. Yet somehow, having all the world had to offer didn't fill the void for either man. Here's the quote that rings in my brain so often when I think of Reynolds. It sounds a bit like my experience:


Burt Reynolds in Parade Magazine:
My dad was the chief of police, and when he came into the room all the light and air went out. There's a saying in the south - no man is a man until his dad tells him he is. It means that someday when you're 30 or 40, grown up, this man whom you respect and love and you want to love, you hope he'll put his arms around you and tell you, "You're a man now, and you don't have to do all those crazy things you're doing and get into fistfights and all that to defend your honor. You don't have to prove anything to me. You're a man and I love you." But my dad and me, we never hugged and never kissed and we never said "I love you." No we never even cried together. So what happened was later, I was deseperately looking for someone who would say, "Burt you're all grown up now, and I approve of you, I love you, you don't have to do those things anymore." But that didn't happen and I was lost inside. For most of my life, I couldn't connect - I was incomplete; and I didn't know then what I needed to know. 

There's so much in this quote I've spent a lot of time mulling over what he's saying.
One thing that stands out is how desperate he needs his father's love, acceptance and validation. Sadly, like most of us it never happened. Even worse, it seems that his dad was an intimidating presence. I wonder if my children would think that growing up, when I entered a room I sucked the air out? Our society has removed the father's all important role of giving identity to our children. We don't realize that we have been empowered by God to give a masculine love and validation. Our culture almost mocks the concept of rites of passage. I know that I wish that somewhere along the way someone gave me the consistent validation and masculine love I so desperately needed. As an example, my son in law who has served in the military (including a tour in Iraq), graduated college and won the heart of my most precious daughter obviously had not received that validation. The night before the wedding I gave him my own awkwardly presented but heartfelt and truthful personal validation. I told him that I was proud of him; that I would accept him, love him and treat him as my own adult son; and I told him that in my eyes he is a man. We hugged. At the wedding, before giving him Ariel's hand, I told him again that I'm proud of him. This is all so true. He is a good man and a man worthy of God's love. My continual prayer is that he daily becomes more and more confident of those facts.

Another surprising thing is that Reynolds wanted his dad to say "grow up and start acting like a man and that you don't have to prove anything to me." It's sad to see so many men who are desperately seeking validation. It's a vain exercise in of itself. Look at so much of the self glorification going on the music industry, on the playing field and on the political platform. Why can't we see past ourselves? Beyond that there are so many in their twenties and beyond who are still living like boys: consumed by their Xbox, cable TV, hobbies, and sports. I'm definitely not against personal pursuits, but how all consuming they can become (basically addictions). We so desperately need someone to tell us the truth: we're men and called to step up and live beyond our own pleasures; that we are committed to the well being and protection of others.
Also, what is clear from Reynolds is that we need to show our vulnerable emotions. I know I have a lot of growth to do in this area. Tragically, our society has so narrowly defined what a man is (Jason Gaddis calls it the The Man Box) that any emotion beyond anger is weak, for sissies, or is somehow an indication that you're homosexual. Sadly, showing emotion for a boy will invite ridicule. We learn to stuff our emotions and become incomplete and detached. We so desperately need dads who are willing to cry, hug, kiss and show genuine emotion. It is a long journey for most men to get there, but my prayer is that we can get there. Our wives, children and our world needs us to be more integrated intellectually and emotionally.
I'm sad to hear that at the time that Burt Reynolds made this quote, he had enough self realization that he knew he was lacking. He was lost inside, he couldn't connect with others, he was incomplete and didn't know what he needed to know. That is a great description of how I lived a large part of my life. Without the direction of an earthly father we will feel lost. Even with a good earthly father, his weaknesses and sin will leave gaps in our development. Only God can fill that gap. Only through His intervention and the placement of others who will walk the journey with you will you find the answers. I know for me it's a complicated, difficult journey but I am blessed with great friends with whom I owe a debt I could never repay. I also have a great God who did intervene in my life. He has somehow broke through all of the hurt and confusion and guided me to a better place. My hope is that whether we are an international superstar or just a regular guy with a family and a mortgage we all find what is lacking.
Hebrews 12:1-3
Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles. And let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us, fixing our eyes on Jesus, the pioneer and perfecter of faith. For the joy set before him he endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God. Consider him who endured such opposition from sinners, so that you will not grow weary and lose heart.

Madea (aka Tyler Perry), I Owe You One

At some point we've probably asked, "What one celebrity would you want to meet?" To that some would pick a famous actor, athelete, or statesman. Recently, my answer to that question has changed. The famous person I'd most want to meet is now Tyler Perry. The odd thing is that I am not a huge fan of his TV shows or movies. To be honest, the humor is not my taste and the cultural context is something that is not familiar territory for me. So the question is why would I choose him? The thing that does fascinate me is that he has a message. There is a deep voice in his works that speaks to the deep pains that we experience in life. It speaks to the facade that we put up when in reality we have deep wounds that we need to face and heal from.

This is the reason is that I owe him a debt of gratitude. I would like to just shake his hand and thank him for being willing to talk about his past. Last year he appeared on Oprah Winfrey and talked about the physical and sexual abuse he experienced as a child and how it affects him. He was brave and healthy emotionally enough to step up to give his voice to abuse. To be honest I rarely watch Oprah but my wife wanted me to see it since so much of the struggles in his life sounded like mine. She was right on the mark. For that all too short hour, Perry along with other men spoke of the fear, shame, pain, anger, detachment, withdrawal, self doubt, self hate and confusion that permeates the life of a man who has experiened abuse. From what Jodi saw, I had that "deer in the headlights" stare as I watched Perry talk about the feelings I had also felt. It's like a deep dark cavern that was inside my heart was suddenly hit with a bright light. I'm not sure I can put all of those feelings into words, but it was painful, relieving and frustrating all at the same time. Perry mentioned that writing about his experiences and his Faith in the Lord were great parts of his healing.

I felt like a heavy burden was lifting off of me, but also a deep anger was seething about the loss of "what might have been" sunk in. I feel like I have carried so much of the shame of my failures when in part there was a pattern established in my life early on that helped me survive what I was going through. Unfortunately, this pattern was a hurtful and destructive one in my adult life. I hurt over the lost opportunities, broken relationships and general self loathing that I had to walk through. Thanks to God and Tyler Perry, this was the epiphany moment that started me on a better road.
When taking stock of my life, I realized that I was bullied in a deep and painful way. It was prolonged and never addressed. What I learned was to suppress the hurt, fake like I wasn't in pain and continue to be a good kid so that I could be left alone. I now can see when I am starting those withdrawn, detached, cynical patterns and break away from them. The key is to know who I am in Christ. I, like everybody else, is the deeply valued son who is blessed and loved. God has secured me and I now live safely within His care. My sincerest hope is that if you can relate to any of this, seek out the healing that you richly deserve.

Psalm 23:1-3

The Lord is my shepherd, I lack nothing.
He makes me lie down in green pastures,
He leads me beside quiet waters,
He refreshes my soul.

As for Tyler Perry, I now watch his shows and films with a more understanding perspective. My hope is that the deep messages that he presents will speak to this world. He is a brother in Christ and my prayer for him is that he continues to heal and find success.

Sandusky Aftermath: Breaking The Cycle

With the guilty verdict of Jerry Sandusky of 45 counts of child abuse comes a great sense of relief. It's step in restoring the feeling of justice that we all long for. I know that God has written into us the deep seeded notion that justice must be met and right will win over wrong. I've been reading comments about the case and one thing is for certain is that it brings out a deep anger with which has its own ugly side. Calling Sandusky a monster or predator is one thing, but hoping he gets raped or beaten to death in prison is another thing. Given my past I feel that deep conflict of knowing that justice needs to be served but also having hopes that he gets what he dished out. This case has opened such deep wounds that the city of Sandusky, OH has had a drop in tourism since the case began and some serious name confusion. Once again, God's way is different from ours. I know that God desires for even a child abuser to find healing, forgiveness and fellowship from the Father. Jesus came to save us all. There is no "worse" sin. I know that we all at times have a hard time reconciling this.

2 Samuel 12:13

"Then David said to Nathan, “I have sinned against the Lord.”"

I have an odd request to anyone who reads this who has abused someone in the past. I am speaking as one who has been on the other end of the abuse and through it I have a message now that I am in a better emotional state (thank you, Jesus!). My message is this: "Step up and take responsibility." From what I see, abusers have somehow isolated those they dominate over and are great at hiding their actions. Bring your actions into the light. I would commend you highly if you would even turn yourself into the police if the abuse warranted it. Another action to take: seek professional help immediately. You need to find out why you behave as you do and fix that. It would be your gift to mankind to help break this ugly cycle. I know that many if not all abusers have been on the receiving end of abuse. Please find healing from that. God has a way of fixing what seems to be hopelessly broken. It is a painful process that will require you to face your hurts and those you hurt. But taking responsibility has a way of freeing us.

Matthew 11:28-30

“Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.”

To those survivors (you're not victims) who were brave enough to stand up and testify reliving such horrific times in your life, I stand and applaud you. You are the very definition of a brave man. You have stood up in the face of fear, shame and public spectacle. Bravery is defined as facing something even if it taps into your worst fear. You have done this. To all of us who have been through similar experiences. I pray for you to find healing. I was bullied to an extremely painful level. I'm sure that getting beaten or sexually abused is far worse than what I experienced. Again, I pray that you will find healing. Seek out good counseling and yes, face the pain. Feel the deep hurt. It is the path to healing. Talk to some good friends or others who have survived what you have went through. Mostly, find times to know who God is in your life. He is the ultimate healer. He is the safety that we all long for. As the prosecution said, Sandusky took part of each victim's soul. I know that God can restore your soul, heal your heart and more. He loves you more than you can imagine.

The King's Speech

I was deeply saddened to hear of the passing of Rodney King. His life and choices have been under the glare of a judgmental public eye for about twenty years. I'm not sure many could bear what he has been through and come out OK from it.
His choices were definitely wrong on the night of March 2, 1991. He was driving drunk. He could have killed someone or himself just because of that foolish choice. Beyond that, he resisted arrest and did not cooperate with the police. From there, things got horribly ugly. I don't know fully the reason for him receiving the beating he got from the police, but it was awful to see and clearly excessive. This incident has plenty of people to blame.
Later in life, King battled substance issues continually and it seems that he never could find the strength to conquer some of the torment that followed him the rest of his life. Again, can any other person survive what he went through and receive the judgement that surrounds him without deep hurt? It is sad to hear that many who were close to him speak of him as a deeply caring individual who they were rooting for and that he had a kind a generous side that the public ignored.
Yet he carried the burden of being the lightning rod of the LA Riots.The anger there was equally horrible and unjust compared to what King endured at the hands of the police. Again, so many are to blame for what has happened.
What I really want to convey is that despite King's issues and under such deep criticism he gave in my opinion one of the most important speeches on race. It is one that beckons us to look towards a Healer. I find it offensive that people have used his statements in a condescending way. For some reason, people of all colors seems to find his words naive, foolish and even stupid. Yes, it wasn't eloquent, but is had a lot of honesty and heart. In that moment, Rodney King stepped up and changed the world. To that I feel he took responsibility and deserves a positive place in history.
God desires for us to heal. First our hearts need to be healed through reconciling and humbling ourselves before a Savior. Second, we need to heal the hurts that occur between us. Racial conflict at its heart is the same issue that plagues this fallen world: sin. We need healing. Rodney King's speech spoke to step two. May we all find step one and only then will step two truly happen.

"I just want to say - you know - can we all get along? can we, can we get along? Can we stop making it horrible for the older people and the kids? And... I mean we've got enough smog in Los Angeles let alone to deal with setting these fires and things... it's just not right - it's not right. And it's not going to change anything. We'll get our justice; they've won the battle, but they haven't won the war. We'll get our day in court and that's all we want.
And, just, uh, I love - I'm neutral, I love every - I love people of color. I'm not like they're making me out to be.
We've got to quit - we've got to quit; I mean after-all, I could understand the first - upset for the first two hours after the verdict, but to go on, to keep going on like this and to see the security guard shot on the ground - it's just not right; it's just not right, because those people will never go home to their families again. And uh, I mean please, we can, we can get along here. We all can get along - we just gotta, we gotta.
I mean, we're all stuck here for a while, let's, you know let's try to work it out, let's try to beat it, you know, let's try to work it out."

Champ, T.O. I Am Your Father

With the news that Terrell Owens has been cut by an indoor football team it would be easy for many of us to feel smug. Owens has acted like a self centered, team chemistry destroying, irresponsible child. That would be the easy way out, but for some reason I felt very deeply sorry for him and those around him. Yes, he has hurt many people and angered many fans. He has four children with which he has failed to take care of, parent, and even just pay for their child support. I'm sure Donovan McNabb and Jeff Garcia feel a bit vindicated after the treatment Owens has subjected them to.
Amongst all of that stands a man who I know must be deeply wounded inside based on the behavior he exhibits. It's a true tragedy. I have a level of compassion for him in the sense that he acts like someone who has lacked the direction he needs to mature. Sadly, to an extent we are in the same boat as he is.
To contrast him, I present to you George Foreman. Today, he is a smiling grandfatherly figure who has that wonderful self deprecating sense of humor. He has made millions of dollars pushing car repair shops and hamburger grills. He's a pastor and from what I can see, a good father. The odd thing is to know George Foreman of the 70s you would never think of him this way. He was a surly bully who seemed angry at the world. That rage was unleashed on his opponents in the boxing ring with a frightening level of power and punishment. Through it he rarely smiled. He seemed angry at the world. In some ways, he had the same level of hurt that T.O. has.

Where did that come from? I know one source for both of these men.
For Owens, as a young teen he was interested in an older girl in the neighborhood. The father of the girl noticed this and went to talk with him. Now usually, this would be the usual "stay away from my little girl" talk that every father has felt the need to do. This talk, turned towards the shocking. The man did tell him to stay away from his daughter. The strange part, is the reason: the girl is Owens' sister! Can you imagine the shock of finding out this neighbor is your father?
Likewise for Foreman, while he was the champ, a random man named Leroy Moorhead walked up to him and introduced himself. In a chilling "Empire Strikes Back" manner, this man told him that he was his father. That would be a shock to the system.
These stories are tragic. Where were these "fathers" when they are needed? Why aren't they standing up and truly mentoring and guiding those whom they fathered? To me, doing this is the one thing that can truly stem the tide of all that is wrong in our society. T.O. is only a product of a broken system that continues to perpetuate itself. The only difference is his fame and fortune so we get to all see it on a national stage.
My sincere hope is that T.O. will find his true Heavenly Father, feel his deep healing love and step up to become the man he was created to be.

Exodus 12:24-28
 “Obey these instructions as a lasting ordinance for you and your descendants. When you enter the land that the Lord will give you as he promised, observe this ceremony. And when your children ask you, ‘What does this ceremony mean to you?’ then tell them, ‘It is the Passover sacrifice to the Lord, who passed over the houses of the Israelites in Egypt and spared our homes when he struck down the Egyptians.’” Then the people bowed down and worshiped. The Israelites did just what the Lord commanded Moses and Aaron.

As for George Foreman, one thing that seems to get lost in his transformation from bully to smiling pitch man is his faith. He has found the love of his Heavenly Father and lives it out - not perfectly, but in a daily transforming way. The angry, snarl is gone. He is proof that God changes us. No matter what our past is, we can still make a difference.

As a footnote, there's a joke about the fact that all five of Foreman's sons are named George. The joke rings of the sound of a dumb palooka who has no clue how to come up with any other name. In fact, it is something heartwarming and brilliant. Foreman's shock at meeting his father inspired him to be sure of one thing, all of his boys would know who their father is. They in fact will carry the name of their father, good, bad or otherwise. This is George Foreman standing up and saying, I'm your father and you will know it from day one.
May we all find ways to step up like that.
T.O. I'm praying for you.