Where The Streets Have No Name

My House

"I've been walking these streets so long,
Singing the same old song,
I know every crack in these dirty sidewalks of Broadway,"
Glen Campbell - Rhinestone Cowboy

A View Of My Elementary School

I spent a week with my dad helping him with his rehabilitation and moving him to assisted living. I knew it would be an emotionally hard time so in the mornings I would take a short time to either jog or walk around my neighborhood. My mind wandered a lot though my years in my family's house. Yes, the Glen Campbell song doesn't literally apply, but the verse came to mind as I realized that, yes, I know every crack in the sidewalks of my childhood neighborhood. I know that this was a great chance to process more of what it was like to grow up as I did. I've said it many times that my childhood was like the Wonder Years. Suburbs with manicured lawns that we ran on like we owned them all. There were neighbors who we knews like family and the elementary school there was also an extension of the people and play that we experienced.

My house sits in a cul-de-sac. To me and my friends it was a football field, baseball stadium, basketball court, a fort and a race track. The man hole cover served as home plate. My dad built a basketball hoop that still stands at the end of our driveway. I think of how much all that playing time has shaped me. It's not just how to throw a curveball or a perfect spiral, but also the quality of time playing with friends in the sunshine and rain. We used to play ball from the time we got up until it was dinner and then schedule a game of hide and seek until it was dark (the telephone poll was home base). It's amazing how many hiding places you can come up with when you have the time and the challenge.

Hangman's Hill is now a subdivision

Behind our house was a hill, a canal and a dirt road. That was our place of adventure. It was a dirt bike track, a trek into enemy territory, and a place to light off firecrackers. There was a tree on the top of the hill that had a long arm extending horizontally. We called it Hangman's Hill because of the tree resembling a gallows. Of course we were told that an actual hanging happened there and that the hill was haunted because of that - there's nothing like a kid's active imagination and the power of urban legend. The hill is now covered by a large subdivision. As for the canal, we used to find ways to climb down in there and run along the small stream. It was sort of a rite of passage to do this. As it involved strength, courage and the daring to avoid getting caught. It seems that most of our secret passages are blocked off now and as a dad, I understand why. But in some ways, I'm sad for the kids who live in the neighborhood today. There's no hill to climb that has dirt, brush and jack rabbits to negotiate. There's no place where your friends can challenge each other to tests of strength and courage.

I hope that everyone who reads this can find and remember a place that was "their own". A place where play and imagination ran free. Within that as adults we can find that inner self that we so easily lose - I call it child-likeness. Some may even call it our soul. Mostly, it is a place of freedom. I seriously believe when we make it to heaven, that will be the prevailing feeling - joy, peace, freedom, laughter, creativity and yes, play. If so, I found a little bit of heaven in a suburb lined with cookie cutter houses.

"Come and go with me to my Father's House,
It's a big, big house, with lots and lots of rooms,
A big, big table, with lots and lots of food,
A big, big yard, where we can play football,
A big, big house, it's my Father's house."
Audio Adrenaline - Big House

Call Me Ojiichan

The first picture of my first grandchild!

To my first grandchild,

Hello! My name is James Nakamura but to you I'm grandpa (or ojiichan if you'd like to use the Japanese term). I know it will be a few months before we actually meet but know that the moment that I heard that God had created you, I loved you. When your mommy told me about you for the first time I was happy and stunned. You see, sometimes the best surprises in the whole world are almost too much to emotionally understand. This was the case when I heard of you. I was so happy to know that you were created, but it was such a happy moment I almost couldn't handle all of the feelings.

There's so much I wish I could tell you, but we have a whole life together to talk about these things so I won't overwhelme you with too much stuff.

So here are a few things I'd like you to know:

You have the best mommy in the whole world. When she was a little girl, she was so special to me (and still is!). She loved to hold my hand and tell me all the things that were going on with her. As she grew older I could always see that she loved God and was so incredibly loyal. She's really well read, loves talking with people and likes to do crafts and cook. All of those great qualities you get to enjoy as she raises you. She was even nice enough to go and watch sports with grandpa. I hope that some day we will do the same. You will of course have lots of San Jose Sharks and San Francisco Giants memorabilia in your life courtesy of me!

Your daddy is a great man of God. He was brave enough to serve his country to help protect us from people who want to hurt us. He also likes geeky things (like your grandpa) so you will be subjected to hearing about scifi (Star Trek, Star Wars) and over analysing of everything. He will also teach you to fly fish and is a good craftsman. I know those times learning from him will be very special!

As for grandpa, I promise you that you will have lots of ice cream, presents, and hugs! I'm excited to be the one who can do these things because that's what grandpas are for. We get to hear all the neat things you do in life and get to cheer you on in any activity that you try. Know that I will be so proud of you. I will be your biggest fan! I want you to know that I'm new to being ojiichan. Because of this, I will make mistakes. I hope that you will forgive me when I mess things up because I'm still learning too! I'm excited that we can learn things together and that most of our times will be happy ones full of laughter!

Most importantly, I will share as much as I can about your loving Heavenly Father. He created you and no matter how much I love you, He loves you more. He loved you so much that He would send His Son to teach us important things and even die for all the bad stuff we do. I know I will have a hard time remembering any bad things that you might do, but God actually erases them so we don't have anything guilt of being bad. Isn't that the most amazing thing (even more amazing than you!)?

I hope that you will read this letter when you are older and that we can remember a lot of good times together. I also hope that you feel as much love from me as I feel for you. May we have lots of sunsets, sporting events, movie nights, and inside jokes!

Love,
Grandpa/Ojiichan

The Final Buzzer

The eventual, has just happened. Our season has come to an end and with it comes the mixed feelings of change in the air. The final third of the season started fairly uneventful with a few wins and losses and then two tournaments. There are times in a season where the grind of the game can get to you. I admit late in the season I let things get to me at times. I know that I deservedly so received my first two technical fouls and my first ejection.  There's much I have to learn about self control as God is still not done with me yet.
The Nashville Regional Tournament was a tough experience. We faced two of the best home school teams in the country. I was very happy to once again see the team rise to the occasion and fight hard. We stayed close for a half, but then the opponents pulled away. I'm always wondering just how each of the players feels going through all of this. The work so hard, but many times comes up short. It's not anything that they're doing wrong per se, but much of it is the hand that we're dealt. The final game was just one of those games where we were flat. I think we all knew that we should have beat this team but ended up losing by 3.

Moving on to the East Coast Finals Tournament I got a reminder of just how much these young men mean to me and the privilege it is to be their coach. Travelling 4.5 hours and then getting up for the first game was tough. We ended up getting down early and fighting back late. Sadly we lost by three points - another hard fought loss! Up next is an elite team that quite frankly was way beyond anything that we have ever faced. 43-11 record with games in France, Australia and a team of all stars. They have their own chartered plane and bus. Mark Cuban's brother OWNS the team. They blew out the other teams in pool play by 60 and 50 points. We fought hard as usual but something different happened. We stayed close for most of the game. I could sense that the coach was not happy that we were making a game of this. Eventually, their talent level and superior coaching got the better of us and they pulled away for a 30 point win. For some reason this game felt good losing by "only" 30. I think they expected a blow out in the first quarter. The handshake at the end of the game felt different. There was an acknowledgement of respect from both teams. I sense that our team felt it too. We turned a corner and possibly matured that night. Our next two games were wins where that toughness that we've developed over the course of the season payed off. These were more gutty wins that required us fighting through lots of tough moments. Hearing the final buzzer of the last win was sweet - we had earned the right to play in the 4A championship!

The championship game was another tough fought battle from very evenly matched teams. It was strange that I had a peace throughout the game. I couldn't figure out why since this was the biggest game of the season. We got down early and played even the rest of the way - early cold shooting and the absence of two players hurt us, but really, adversity is something to fight through not use as an excuse. Still down by 10 I called our last timeout with one minute to go. I gave some usual strategic words but then it hit me why I had peace through the game and so I shared it with the team. It was so real and hopefully very meaningful: I told them that in my mind it didn't matter if they won or lost the game, they were already champions to me. I actually choked up when I told them this because it hit me really deep. Like the last timeout in the movie Hoosiers, I finally get what the coach in the movie felt. When you put so much into the team, some of you is going with them and you feel the deep love for who they are as young men. I sincerely hope they enjoyed the game and the moment when they got the trophy. It was well earned and I hope a lifetime memory.

The sum total of this season as a Varsity basketball coach has left me with some great memories. I know that God challenged me to put myself in a position that is a stretch. I had to be a decision maker, a life guide, a teacher, and a mentor. This meant that many of my flaws were right out in front of people. It also opened me up to scrutiny and criticism. I had to face off against superior coaches and programs and faced losing. Through it I had to find a way to keep the team going in the right direction. I know that without God and God's gift of two amazing friends to assist me, I'm sure I would have failed badly. I can not thank God enough for having Mark and Bruce there for me. Mostly, this was about the team and how they have grown. I am amazed and humbled at how high a quality of character these young men possess. It is a testament of God, their families and the lives that they live. I know that I can say so much more about them but again I'll say that they are champions in my book. I look forward to seeing how they impact the world and be a blessing to others. For that, I'm thankful that God gave me this amazing opportunity.

Planes To Catch And Bills To Pay

"And the Cats in the Cradle and the Silver Spoon
Little Boy Blue and the Man In The Moon
'When you coming home, dad,' 'I don't know when,'"
Harry Chapin - The Cats And The Cradle

Harry Chapin charted this song when I was about 8. It's such a bittersweet song. I remember as a kid that Brandon Cruz (of The Courtship Of Eddies Father fame) crying when he found out that Harry Chapin was going to perform that song live for him. I totally get it. Even then and even more now that song hits at the heart of where we are at as boys; as teens; as young men; as fathers; and as older men. Living through those stages, it hits home. We men just don't make the time for what's important. Jobs, mowing the lawn, church leadership, you name it gets in the way. When you figure that out, it's usually too late. By then, your son is dealing with the same stresses that kept you from him. I just wish I could stop things and find that perfect moment to tell Fox that I love him; that I'm proud of him; and that he has what it takes to thrive in this world. The problem is that even if I do, it doesn't seem to sink in. That's not an indictment on him, but more just how things are.
This all comes together as I live in middle life land. Right now I'm on a plane heading to see my dad. Although a picture of health for a man of his age, he didn't know that he was hemorrhaging around his brain. It resulted in a stroke. I am so thankful that he survived and has rehabilitated to the point of moving on to assisted living. I thought of how I now have to be on the other side of providing care. Not that I mind it, but I am concerned how that will be a paradigm shift for me and that I'll have to emotionally work it out. I also stop and think that our time on earth together is a lot less than I realized.
My dad comes from a very different era. He also is partially influenced indirectly from the Japanese culture his dad came from. I fully understand this and accept it. It doesn't prevent me from longing for that depth in relationship that God designed us to have. I know that men of his culture and era just aren't that in touch with their feelings or comfortable expressing them. I know that there are gaps in my life because of this and again, I don't blame my dad for that. It is these the burdens that bring me to my knees longing for my Heavenly Father.

Hospital Visits:
Seeing my dad in a weakened state is tough to see. Even though I knew this is the way it was going to be, it's nothing compared to when you see it first hand. I'm now the one instructing him and encouraging him. It's such a shift in mindset. Also, I'm working hard to find the balance of taking charge and helping without dishonoring or disrespecting my dad. He will need to learn to use a walker and spend considerable time in a wheelchair. There's hope that he could fully recover but also he could plateau and require assistance the rest of his life.

The most beautiful moment was when my uncle (my dad's closest brother) spent time with him. Here are two men who have been in a close relationship longer than any other people in their lives. I think they must have had countless wrestling matches, games of playing catch and quiet moments fishing together. Today, my uncle takes the time to carefully clip his fingernails. In most ways this is such a common thing to do, but for one who has suffered a stroke, it is a very difficult task. My uncle gently takes my dad's hands and takes care of a basic grooming need. I feel like I saw something so wonderful and intimate - two brothers who love each other and one demonstrating his love in such a tangible and caring way. I am blessed to have an uncle who will stand up for my dad.
I spent the large parts of the days learning how to help my dad. Again, I am continually trying to find a respective but helpful mindset when working with my dad. I'm helping him get in and out of bed, his wheel chair, and a car. I have to ask him when he needs to go the bathroom. I'm sure it's humbling for him and even a bit embarrassing but he understands the goal is to recover and so he soldiers on. It is the great blessing of his character and the age he grew up in. He has experienced a great deal of hardship (working on a farm, living through the depression, World War II, Internment, and losing loved ones). I sense a settled peace in this challenge. I'm very proud that I am his son.

My good friend Frank Prats

Relocating to assisted living:
There is a sense of great responsibility when it came to be having the assignment of moving my dad to assisted living. First I had to furnish his residence. A true testament of the Body Of Christ was that with one phone call to my good friend Frank Prats I was able to secure a truck and two men to help with the heavy lifting. It all went very smoothly.During this time anybody who provides that kind of support is a blessing. I am so thankful Moving some of the furniture included pieces that literally haven't left their respective rooms for over 50 years. Many pieces are older than me. This also provides some security in the familiar for my dad. My brother Robert was there to help arrange the place and put things away. That was nice to have.
If moving inanimate objects is a challenge think of the responsibility of moving your invalid father. This was a step beyond training as it was in my hands and my hands only. I packed his stuff along with his newly acquired walker and wheel chair. For the first time I helped my dad maneuver into a car unassisted. Again, the weight of my responsibility was hitting me. Thankfully, it went well. The drive did tire my dad out but we made the 80 minute trip without a hitch.

Arriving and admitting went well. I had a huge amount of information to disseminate (another huge responsibility!). It also required me to focus on the care of the staff (which looks excellent). I realize after being responsible and in charge in these past few days I now have to make the next shift, to releasing much of the control and let the staff take over. Change is a challenge for me so I went through a lot of challenges this week. I can't imagine how my dad feels through all of this change. Once again, God showed up in a literally sweet way. Dad's first dinner at the facility included cream puffs for dessert. If you've read my other blog post, you will know that cream puffs were a specialty of my mom. It was like God was telling me personally that it is all good with Him and that He is in control. We are all family and with a few special touchstones (like cream puffs) we'll get through this together. I am so humbled by all of this.
My hope is that I will see my dad fully recovered. He can then go back to walking with the group of dog walkers in his neighborhood and hit the golf links sometime before dawn with his friends. No matter what, I know that my time with him is limited so I'll be sure to make more time to savor his love, warmth and kindness.
"We'll get together then, you know we'll have a good time then..."

Second Intermission: My Thoughts On Our Season So Far

We are now three quarters through the season. I realize just how time consuming it is to coach a high school basketball team, have an engineering job and still have all of life's chores to keep. If you follow this blog, you notice that I haven't been writing as much since the season started. I would also say that the time commitment has been worth it. I see the great privilege I have to teach, encourage and lead these fine young men. They are some of the best that any man could ever want as a son. Many of them are high caliber basketball players and all have worked very hard to improve on their skills. I see them becoming men of God who can impact and lead in this world. As a coach I hope that I can impart whatever has been given to me from God and other men who have impacted my life. I also hope I don't blow it as I feel the great responsibility of this position.

Proverbs 17:17
A friend loves at all times, and a brother is born for a time of adversity.

I can't say enough about the assistant coaches I have working with me. Mark and Bruce are the highest quality of Godly men who keep me grounded and humble. Beyond that I can think of many times when their basketball input was invaluable. Bruce came up with the defensive scheme that helped us take on one of the top teams in this area and kept us close the whole way. Mark once spotted that a team's press was focused too much on the middle of the court and the sidelines were wide open. Stuff like that can elude me and they have the insight to countless occurences that helped the team. More than anything, I feel like we're on the same page with what we want to accomplish with the team. Leading them to see teamwork, hard work, fighting through adversity and winning shows the characteristics that God desires for the team to have in life. I am deeply indebted to these men for the help, wisdom and friendship.

Looking back in life, I see that one thing that I like to do is be analytical when it comes to watching sports. Perhaps it's because I was mostly a bench warmer or perhaps it has to do with my "geeky" side. Anyway, I find myself very much alive during the games. Seeing things and figuring out how best to get the most out of the team is really invigorating. I also love seeing the team succeed. It's funny, my competitive side is really strong, but I'm more passionate about the boys being able to succeed than just getting the win. I want so bad for them to get the taste of victory that comes from working hard as a team.

Running Rick Torbett's Read And React offense continues to amaze me. I continue to get compliments about how the offense flows. When it works and the team runs it well, it's a beautiful thing to behold. It's a scheme that can't be scouted and works well against all defenses. After two seasons, I think we're getting more and more into it. I realize that it requires a lot of conditioning to run this. With comfortability I hope that we can learn to outwork the opposition and hunt for those scoring chances. My secret hope is to see multiple staggered screens come to fruition. Then I'll be a little kid again watching  Rick Barry at Oracle Arena.

We now have installed four defenses. We have the standard 2-3 zone that work well against bigger teams. I maybe too stubborn to use it a lot. Perhaps it's so familiar I want to give the team's a different look. The chaser is something I really enjoy watching. It confuses teams and can really be effective. It's a matchup zone that requires an long athletic "chaser". I'm so glad we have two players who fit that role well. I'm surprised that we have been very effective in man to man. Considering the team's youth and relative lack of size, we have done quite well in it. I use it a lot more than I expected. It just goes to show how mature our team has become. We just added a half court trap. Right now, it's a work in progress. I think I need some tweaks to get it to work better. My hope is that this can work well when we're down and also get us some momentum at times.

Our practices were getting stale (as they usually do during the season). I'm so glad I read up on some coaches boards as one gave me the great idea of making practices a competition. Keeping score of each drill has taken the intensity and focus to a new level. I've even said the team that "wins" the practice is the starting team for the next game. Competition is in a man's DNA. It just took one tweak to bring it out and give our practices the next level of intensity that I was looking for. Nice to see the team completely gassed after a practice. I'm hoping they will see there's always a next level to achieve.

Isaiah 30:20
Although the Lord gives you the bread of adversity and the water of affliction, your teachers will be hidden no more; with your own eyes you will see them.

Friday was perhaps a significant day for team team. We played Christian Academy of Knoxville which is ranked number 6 in East Tennessee. They have two players who have Division 1 scholarships and their best player is an underclassman. They have first class facilities and it was senior night. Considering we have a a small talent pool, no facilities and an all volunteer staff, games like this one can become embarrassing very fast. Not so tonight. We had the lead at the half. It was close for most of the third quarter. The coach tried at least four different defenses to stop us. I could tell the home crowd was very concerned. Sadly, they did wear us down and we ended up losing. But we gained so much more: we earned the respect of everybody in that gym; we proved to ourselves that we belong with one of the best in the area; and we do have a next level that we can achieve. I can never say I'm glad we lost a game, but it was something to behold knowing what we proved. It's like the first Rocky movie: he loses the fight but wins something deeper and more gratifying. I even got a my fan boy moment when Atlee Hammaker (former San Francisco Giants pitcher) took the time to come up to me to say how impressed he was with the team. I count that as a little gift from God that would mean something to me.

We are 10-20 right now but take away losses to the 2A and private schools and we're very close to .500. We are ranked #10 in the Southeast for home school programs! With four sophomore, five juniors and one senior, the future is bright!

Is Anybody Worthy?

One interesting thing about men is the need to determine who is the best. Men ten years older than me will debate whether Mickey Mantle or Willie Mays was the best center fielder of all time. For some reason, we are wired with the need to figure out the pecking order between each other. I think that's why sports resonates so deeply with so many men. Also, we need to know who "belongs". Are we good enough to be management material? Officer material? Management? Basically, do we merit? In baseball, there's no greater individual achievement than being inducted into the Baseball Hall Of Fame in Cooperstown, New York.

Strangely (or perhaps not), for the second time in forty years, the Baseball Writers Association has decided that not one player is worthy for induction to the Hall Of Fame.This means that as of this writing, the all time home run king (Barry Bonds), the most decorated pitcher in history (Roger Clemens), a 600 home run hitter (Sammy Sosa), the all time hits leader (Pete Rose), the player with the third highest batting average (Joe Jackson) and two 500 home run hitters (Rafael Palmiero, Mark McGwire) all are not enshrined in the Hall Of Fame. All are considered unworthy (or in Rose's case ineligible) based on character. In some ways, I can't argue with the logic or morality of the decision. Steroids and other PEDs have tainted an entire generation of players and have painted a cloud of suspicion over any great feats in baseball. As for Rose and Jackson, the hint of fixing games, or being influenced by gambling causes a similar type suspicion.

I also can counter such reasoning with the fact that many cheaters (Gaylord Perry comes to mind) and low character individuals are already in the Hall. Reading Jim Bouton's "Ball Four" paints a picture of boozing, womanizing, greenie popping ball players including the revered Micky Mantle. There are players who would be considered racist, drug abusers, womanizers, ruffians, gamblers and scoundrels that have plaques in Cooperstown. Why single out PED users?

What this points back to is a tough reality. The Hall Of Fame is a man made institution. It's rules for induction are subjective. Even more difficult is the fact that frail humans are the judges of worthiness. This means the election process will be flawed. This can be the only reason why acknowledged greats, Willie Mays, Hank Aaron and Mickey Mantle were not unanimous selections. I have to question any voter who would not vote for them. Perhaps even more puzzling is that this year someone voted for Aaron Sele (owner of a 4+ lifetime ERA). So I recall the reality of our human frailty. We are not created to judge and our judgement will be flawed.

Major League Baseball and the flaws that it exposes brings me back to 200 game winner Vida Blue. As a kid, he was one my heroes. He's a lefty and pitched for both Bay Area baseball teams. He's also a convicted drug trafficker. Perhaps the strangest circumstances with which I met a famous ballplayer was with Vida Blue. It was 1984 and I was at the Oakland Coliseum sitting in the cheap seats with my brother. I looked behind me and sitting among us bleacher bums was Vida Blue of all people. He was just released from prison and was now reduced to sitting with the rest of the fans that night. Just think, only a few years earlier he was the king of this place. He was the man we cheered for and the man that I wanted to be like. I got the courage to speak with him that night. He was gracious. I shook his hand - it was massive. I thought this was a man who could crush my hand if wanted to. I always wondered what he felt to be humbled to that level. I also wonder if his substance abuse is what prevented him from being in the Hall Of Fame. He went on to finish his career with the Giants and win 200 games along the way. Although he has battled alcohol abuse over the years, it seems that his legacy is solid. To me, he's still one of my heroes even with all of his baggage. He's human and a great pitcher.

All of this says that we are all not worthy based on character or some arbitrary sense of morality. We all are not worthy. The beauty is that God makes us worthy. He is the one who can heal us, forgive us, rehabilitate us and justify us. Our hearts can in fact be judged pure because our Heavenly Father fixed it all for us. To that we can find our worth and that we belong to God's Hall Of Fame.

The End Of The First Quarter

If you've been reading this blog, you know that I am the Boys Varsity coach for the Knoxville Ambassadors. It is an all volunteer organization that provides sports for students who are home schooled. We play at the 1A level but if one were to look at the organization, I think we'd honestly say that we are more of a small school. This statement comes mostly from the view that we have no gym, our budget is minuscule compared to other school programs, we have no professional staff, and no training facilities. Given all of that, we are extremely competitive while still having a heart of ministry.

Watching 30 For 30's "The Guru Of Go" got me to thinking that I should journal about what my impressions are of our ongoing basketball season. I've always been fascinated with Paul Westhead and his run and gun offense. Also, I knew a guy who knew Corey Gaines who played point guard during Westhead's time at Loyola Marymount. Westhead kept a journal of his thoughts given the unorthodox way in which he coached basketball. Considering I'm running the very unorthodox "Read And React" offense and at times a hybrid match up zone, I figured writing my thoughts down would come in handy for future reference.
We are now at the approximate first quarter of our season. We are a tough 4-9 with three games against 2A schools coming up. We just lost a double overtime game by 3 points. We got blown out by a couple of elite schools. We had a couple of heartbreaking losses. Just writing that sounds pretty depressing but in reality, I'm very encouraged.

First and foremost I ask myself is do I have my priorities straight? In that I mean am I here to glorify the Father; the One who has given me this opportunity? I see these young men and they are of the highest in character. This is obviously a reflection of the God honoring families that they come from. What I see is that I have this amazing opportunity to encourage the next generation of Christian men to be the stand up, high character men that this world so desperately needs. My hope is that they can be the ones who mentor, lead and impact this world. In the wake of the recent shooting in Connecticut, is it more obvious that we need engaged, high character mentors and leaders? So I look at my role and see that I need to teach them the need to persevere. I teach that it takes hard work, fundamentals and teamwork to achieve the important goals in life. I see that in victory or defeat, it's the heart of the individual that God measures. I know that I have lots to learn in these areas myself. After a tough loss it took a lot within myself not to act out in anger - not at the team, but just frustration on how the outcome wasn't what I wanted or what I wanted for the team. Perhaps I am growing in my own self awareness - progress!

As for the actual games and the team, I reflect and think just how much fun I can have with all of the stress and intense level of thought that it requires of me. It really is a crazy love it and hate it at the same time feeling. Perhaps hate isn't the right word, but more of a loathing. I love sports and I think that my whole life I tended to be more analytical about the games as opposed to being so physically involved in them. I'm sure being mostly a bench warmer makes a huge difference as well. I think that my desire to teach, mentor and be competitive adds up to the fire I need to coach the game. I love being involved in the game. I love it when the team succeeds. I love it when they fight hard no matter what.

On offense, using the Read And React system has been a revelation. I have been able to actually speak to its creator, Rick Torbett. I have seen this crazy philosophy come to fruition in an offense that resembles the Rick Barry led Golden State Warriors. The team is executing it at a higher and higher level. With that is the beauty of basketball. There's ball movement, player movement leading to exciting offense. The interesting thing is that a coach must learn to let go and trust the decision making of the players. Although I have a white board on the sideline, I rarely have to pull it out. My timeouts have become mostly a time to remind the team to stay in the offense. It's strange, but I feel a sense of mentoring and empowering to give these young men the chance to run the offense. It's not an extension of me, but an expression of their God given talent. Beyond that, it teaches them to trust each other, trust the coaches and in a much deeper sense, learn to trust themselves. I've had many compliment the team's exciting and disciplined execution of "my" offense. The strange reality is that it's all them. I'm only there to help them find what God has put into them.
My good friend John asked me if I'm enjoying myself. I think that would be an understatement. I feel that God has put me here for a reason. I say this and feel deeply humbled. I clearly have made enough mistakes in life and even leading this team that would easily cause many to think that I am unworthy of such an opportunity. It has become the ministry that I'm involved in at this point in my life. It causes me to lose sleep. I'm sure that in many ways I could let it become my obsession. For now, I'll call it my passion. Perhaps it will lead to something bigger for me (Coaching at a higher level? Heck, I can always dream), but right now my prayer is that it will be something big for the young men on the team. I hope that they can look back on their high school basketball days and think that they were good times; that they grew spiritually through it and that God was there in their midst. If so, 4-9 looks really sweet.