Jabez Knew What He Was Talking About

1 Chronicles 4:9-10
Jabez was more honorable than his brothers. His mother had named him Jabez, saying, "I gave birth to him in pain." Jabez cried out to the God of Israel, saying, "Oh that you would bless me and enlarge my territory! Let your hand be with me, and keep me from harm so that I will be free from pain." And God granted his request.

Bruce Wilkerson wrote a book a while ago called The Prayer Of Jabez. It was a big deal when it came out and controversial for what he claimed: Jabez's prayer that is listed in 1 Chronicles possesses the powerful prayer framework that will transform your life. Many in the Christian world scoffed at what they saw as a prosperity gospel message while others claimed it is a huge revelation. I'm mostly in the middle on these matters as many look at what's external and not at the heart condition. Any message of Christ can be twisted to justify a prosperity gospel message while others sensationalize what is Truth and lose what has been rooted in God's character from the beginning. I personally think that Wilkerson's book The Secrets Of The Vine is a much more powerful message, but prior to reading that I read The Prayer Of Jabez. This was about twelve years ago and focusing on just one aspect of the prayer was pretty eye opening: it revealed just how faithful God has been to me. It showed me that a persistence (even if at times my heart really wasn't into it or just plain being selfish) in prayer and the effect of drawing near to the Extraordinary has on me. It's actually quite comical and delightful.
I'm sure that to some this list isn't such a big deal. Many have lived amazing lives that are full of cool adventures and memories. For me, I consider my life pretty mundane. I haven't really distinguished myself in any field which makes anything amazing in my life very much God blessed. For that, I am thankful and will be thankful to Jabez and his example.
The one aspect of Jabez's prayer that stood out to me is "enlarge my territory". It sounds like a "make me rich" request, but it more about having us see that God a much larger story in store for us; that He desires for us to pray for audacious and crazy things that will be huge in advancing His Kingdom. It is a mindset that asks God to do something so big, that it can't possibly be from man.

I am originally from California. I had the mindset that I would live my whole life there. I had little desire to see much more than what I knew. I mean, I had snow in the Sierras, beaches in Santa Cruz, an engineering job in Silicon Valley, all of my family and friends nearby and all my favorite sports teams there. What I'd never consider is that I'd end up moving to Tennessee. Not only that, I'd end up owning a KOA campground in the very small town of Sweetwater. This means driving a tractor, cleaning sewers and dealing with difficult guests. It means that I wore a bright yellow shirt and drove a golf cart around while picking up trash and repairing just about anything that could get broken. It also stretched me to learn many new things. I had to be the janitor, the customer service representative, the bookeeper, mechanic, grounds maintenance man, marketing specialist and boss. I'm also glad to say that I believe my grandfather would be proud to know that his youngest grandson who grew up in the suburbs taught himself to drive a tractor. I was stretched beyond my own means. I prayed a lot about things since so much was riding on the success of the business. I learned so much about myself there. God expanded me in ways that I could never imagined if I'd stayed in Northern California.

I used to be adverse to travel. Believe it or not I hated the change, the strain of travel and just not being able to relax being away from what was comfortable. For some reason I started getting encouraged by others to get out and help minister away from my comfort zone. This has led me to helping build houses in Mexico. That in fact meant using outhouses and living in a dusty and dirty makeshift camp. It also meant meeting people who literally had no roof over their heads. It meant connecting to people with whom I barely could communicate with. It was so powerful to see the tears of joy of a sixty year old man as we handed him the keys to his newly built two room house. Going through that can change your heart. God showed me that I had much to learn about love and much to appreciate about what my life is.

Travel also means helping in the sticky, bug filled Gulf Coast after Hurricane Katrina. The destruction down there was shocking at times. I was in Waveland and was standing on an empty lot. It took me a few minutes before I realized it was a campground. If there's one thing I should easily recognize is a campground. I just couldn't see it because there was so much that was destroyed and that nothing around me was familiar. There were literally whole neighborhoods that were destroyed with all members of the families working: boys directing traffic, girls cooking, moms organizing while dads operated heavy equipment. This was community at its best.I learned how to repair roofs and do drywall work. I saw how generous people can be. I received many warm hugs of appreciation. This showed me that I have much to learn about mercy.

Travel also can involve and random call from a good college friend: one that invites you to get involved with a small village in the Western Highland of Guatemala. It would be a time to reconnect with my IVCF friends from college. Seeing the Mayan people made me think that somewhere at the Tower Of Babel, some of my ancestral relatives found their way to Central America while others found their way to southern Japan. I felt like a tall Mayan there. All of these trips involved lots of bottled water, but this one also involved building an outhouse. It also involed kids. Lots and lots of kids who seemed to love you instinctively. They also showed me that hard work is not lost on this generation. The people of Panyebar must be hard workers to survive. They also are looking for ways to thrive as they move more and more into the modern culture. God showed me the blessing of friendships that last a lifetime. It also showed me a lot about joy. Children with so little material possesions had the more valueable gift of joy; play was instictive and spontaneous; laughter was constant. I needed to expand my experience of joy and found it in Guatemala.

To be honest, I took a few college courses that were out of sheer laziness. Two of them were Basketball Training and Basketball Coaching Theory. Both of them aren't exactly Organic Chemistry in terms of complexity. Along with that I have spent all too much time watching sports. Somehow God even can use my laziness for His glory. I first volunteered to be an assitant coach for Fox's JV basketball team. It was my hope that this would be a good connecting time with him (and it has). I have found myself leaning on the things that I learned from basketball coaches and classes that I picked up along the way. Through some tragic circumstances (the head coach was in a car accident and thankfully is doing well), this led to me becoming the JV Head Coach. During the summer, the Varsity Head Coach retired; I was asked to fill his shoes. Is this something that I'm qualified to do? One definitely questions that. I know that being the kid who sat at the end of the bench in high school isn't an auspicious beginning to a coaching career. Anyway, I'm on the verge of my first season as a Varsity Basketball Head Coach. God has gifted me with some wonderful young men and a great pair of assistant coaches. I know that somehow, God is preparing us for something great. Maybe not in wins, but in terms of leading young men. My hope and prayer as we embark on this season is that each of us on the team grows to see more of God's leading in our lives; that He is intimately involved in the process of growing; and that His love for us is deeper than we can possibly imagine.
I see that Jabez was on to something. Not a magical set of words that will give you things you want, but something far better than that. It is access to seeing God work and not just far off somewhere, but deep and intimately in your life. It is a transformational experience that can only be accomplished by God. So Jabez and his prayer is much more about our heart condition. Are we ready for what God is going to do? Are we open to not only His leading but His vast stores of love?

Happy Birthday Mom

"Photographs and memories
Christmas cards you sent to me
All that I have are these
To remember you"
Photographs And Memories - Jim Croce

A significant date for me which has passed my attention the past few years is coming around and I want to be sure I commemorate it. This week, my mom would have turned 81. Even more significant is that this year marked fifteen years since her passing. I have to admit that I don't think about her every day as some do of their dear departed ones, but I tend to feel and recognize her absence. I realize that the sum of my experiences with her colors my life so her imprint is always there in the back of my consiousness. Like with many, certain things I experience trigger in my mind memories of her. In the spirit of her memory and birthday, I'm taking time to list a few.

I would guess every child remembers some dish that mom used to make. I'm sure that there are many that I could list, but one sticks out: cream puffs. It's not that my mom made some award winning dessert, but they were usually made when a family occasion was at hand. Perhaps it was a Easter picnic, or the raucous New Year Day family get together with wall to wall football, or the Thanksgivings at my aunt's house. I can still taste those cream puffs. The funny thing is that I'm not a huge fan of cream puffs, but the smell and taste can be a strong reminder of family get togethers and good times. Within that context, her family get together contribution (beyond the laughs) was a creamy filled dessert topped with powdered sugar.

My mom had a great sense of humor. It had a bit of an edge to it as she was a very feisty lady who let you know exactly where she was coming from. A huge influence on her humor was the great comedienne Lucille Ball. Perhaps the greatest TV show and probably the most influential is "I Love Lucy". In the show Lucy was always getting herself in trouble with her screwy schemes. From that, her crazy sense of humor and brilliant sense of timing took over. My mom had a similar sense to seeing life. She could roll her eyes a certain way or was able to laugh at her own self such that you could always feel the lightness of the moment. It's a unique talent and a sign of a sharp wit. So yes, I can still watch those old Lucy reruns and laugh out loud. Beyond the usual memories attached to the show, I see a bit of my mom in it - and smile deeply inside.

"I go back to where this started to find out what went wrong,
 No miracle cures for the broken heart and only time and shoulders to lean on..."
Rescue Me - Bob Hudson
In late 1995 my mom was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer. It's so hard to think that what started was her joking about indigestion ended up being a disease that was killing her. I hurt also because at first her pain caused her to be easily irritable and some of what was special of her was lost in the daily struggle. Even deeper is watching someone you love suffer. I can remember our whole family waiting in the hospital and the doctor coming out to give us the dire diagnosis. I know that I went numb and desperately needed time to process the news by myself. I also remember many drives after work to go home to see my mom. She had so many ups and downs during this time. It was truly an ordeal. The picture above was taken right before I escorted (actually pushed her in her wheel chair) to her seat at my brother's wedding. I still remember the faces of her sisters and relatives - sadness, tears and love. There was so much emotion as she entered the auditorium. Several of her friends and loved ones even broke tradition and got up out of their seats walked through the center aisle to hug her and affirm her. I think many knew that this would be the last time they saw her.
I remember the last words she said to me: "You such a good boy. What a good boy." It was warm and loving and tinged with sadness. I know that she wanted to tell me something important and those words stay with me. When God graciously called her home it was in the house we grew up at. The whole family was there and we cried together. I wish that I could say that all memories are happy ones. Even so, this one is a good memory since they are part of the process of life.

"But inspite of all I have I can still turn and smile,
 When I reach the promised land I'll be stronger for my trial..."
Rescue Me - Bob Hudson
All of these pictures are missing someone important. We are so happy in these times, but my mom wasn't there to share them. I think of the four grandchildren she didn't get to meet on earth. I think of her missing Ariel and Amanda's graduations; Ariel's wedding; seeing our KOA campground; and watching Fox play basketball (I'm sure she'd be the loudest one in the stands). I remember Ariel as a little girl mourning her passing by saying that she's so sad, she wished never had gotten to know her since it hurts so much that she's gone. On the other hand, I also think about how our family has become a little more expressive in our love for each other since then. I can see that my dad is a stand up man who dilligently took care of his ailing wife for two long years. I can also see that our lives are richer and that some little things that my brothers and I do impart to our kids some of what my mom gave to us. This is the stuff that helps me make some sense of God taking her away from us so early. It reminds me to cherish my family more. It helps me know that life and time are fragile and limited. It also gives me a hope for the eternal future when I can see my mom again and she'll hopefully get to intereact with all of her grandchildren. When we are in the Father's house we can all enjoy cream puffs - and laugh!

The Search For Obiwan

When one looks back at life after 48 years it can be a bit overwhelming and even discouraging. I look back at so many lost opportunities and bad decisions. Also, I can see where I have hurt so many that I care deeply about. I think of missed ministry, business and personal growth opportunities. Deeper than that, I see the hurt my family has gone through because of my shortcomings. I wonder how much better of a husband, father and friend I could have been. I think of the lost financial gains I could have realized with just a little more wisdom. It's a lonely feeling with a tinge of regret. There's a longing for wisdom, encouragement, and strength. The losses can even be paralyzing feeding into the passivity that injures in the long run. I see that men really long for a mentor; the man we can turn to for advice, encouragement and strength.

I believe that God has ordained fathers to fit that role, but sadly through the attacks of Satan, our own sin and shortcomings and sometimes tragic circumstances, they/we don't fill that role. To be honest, I know that sometimes we as sons are also too stubborn to accept the love and guidance that God graciously gives us through our fathers. That is of course, tragic. So many of us look for a mentor.  For me, I call it my search for Obiwan.

"Use the Force, Luke."
Many times I have longed for, prayed for and hoped a mentor. So many times in life you can be left looking for answers, longing for someone to provide strength, assurance, and guidance. This longing is deep within all men in my estimation. If one were to look at movies and novels through the years there's a stock character known as the sage. For me, the best and most complete example is Obiwan Kenobi from the Star Wars franchise. With the benefit of seeing his character evolve from a Padawan learner to enlightened mentor, we find the amazing and arduous process of a man growing through the trials of life. Focusing on his time directly with Luke shows us some very powerful insights into mentoring and continues to compel me to find someone who might have these traits.

"You were my brother, Anakin. I loved you."
"A young Jedi named Darth Vader, who was a pupil of mine until he turned to evil, helped the Empire hunt down and destroy the Jedi knights."
Obiwan played a part in the deepest and most tragic plot point of the Saga: The Fall Of The Republic and of Anakin Skywalker. The weight of such responsibility must have been huge. What is powerful is that somehow at a later time he had somehow made peace and had perspective on these events. Great mentors have failed - possibly on a colossal level. I think all men have failed and yet there are a precious few who can rise above that. Most end up paralyzed, bitter and cynical in looking at the fate they have received. Those who conquer discouragement gain a deep wisdom that only comes through healing, experience and time. It is a trait we all are desperate for and one that a mentor possesses.

Obiwan: "You must learn the ways of the Force if you're to come with me to Alderaan."
This quote is one of those seminal moments in the Saga. It is a calling to something bigger than yourself. Masculine initiation and calling are lost on our culture or ridiculed as this archaic tradition that has no relevance to modern society. This view is deeply emasculating. We all need, crave and were created for adventure. Why are we so facinated with it? Why are so many novels and movies about adventure? It is because it challenges us, measures us and requires us to become more than what we are. Luke is a back country farm boy who longs for adventure. Obiwan brings him out from that life and into a larger struggle. Somewhere inside all men is the desire to be a hero. A mentor can call us to fullfill that role.

Han Solo: "I call it luck."
Obiwan: "In my experience, there's no such thing as luck."
Han Solo is one of the coolest characters in the Saga. Who doesn't want to be the gunslinger who lives by his own rules? At first he's the classic cynic straight from the Humprey Bogart line of tough guy loners. The one thing about those who criticize is that they can fall back on being "right". It's passive. Take a look around and you'll see so many critics and "experts" out there. Full of opinions, they sit on the sideline of life taking verbal shots at those who actually try to do something. It's weak. It's also what bullies do. Han the critic is ridiculing Luke the idealist. It's a discouraging moment. Obiwan, the engaged, steps in and defends the idealist. A mentor knows that life's journey is full of naysayers, bullies, cynics and critics. What he also knows is that he can provide strength. Ah, wouldn't life be so much more bearable with the strength of a mentor having your back?

"You've taken your first step into a larger world."
Luke just defeated a sparking metal tennis ball with a blindfold on. Some would say "Big deal!" The mentor knows better. He knows we all were at the beginning at one time. He knows that we need to walk through the long journey of life with more than sheer will. We need encouragement. Obiwan truthfully exposes the important fact of taking that first step. Would your life be better, more fulfilled, more gratifying and more accomplished if you knew someone was clearly on your side? I think of how I won't do things because of the lack of encouragement (passivity!!!). I also can clearly think of times when it spoke deep into my soul.

Obi-Wan: "So what I told you was true, from a certain point of view."
Luke: "A certain point of view?"
Obi-Wan: "Luke, you're going to find that many of the truths we cling to depend greatly on our own point of view."
This moment was one of the most frustrating in the Saga. At first Obiwan tells Luke that his father was murdered by Darth Vader (we infer that they are two different people). Later the explanation is that Darth Vader the evil killed all that was good in Anakin Skywalker. Does it sound like a cheap cop out? Actually, it's wisdom speaking. The deep truth Obiwan is describing is that we can be our own murderer. In the broader context, the mentor provides wisdom. It's showing us life's difficulties and provides perspective. It's taking life's hardships and giving us direction. It's guiding us through our failures and providing us comfort. Wisdom is powerful and all too fleeting in our culture.

"The Force will be with you. Always."
I sometimes think that I'm seeking something that may not exist. Realistically, it's up to God to determine if I end up finding the Obiwan for my life. I know that at this point in my life, I need to be Obiwan for someone. Perhaps in that process, I'll find what I'm looking for. Until then my search and saga will continue.

Dude, This Is Awesome - One More Thing Off The Bucket List

Acts 2:17
“In the last days, God says, I will pour out my Spirit on all people. Your sons and daughters will prophesy, your young men will see visions, your old men will dream dreams."
The Bucket List. That pesky To Do list of things you want to do before God calls you home. On it there's usually a bunch of deep and very important things to do that usually involves family, self improvement and leaving the world a better place. Those items have a sense of duty, calling and sacrifice. God desires for us to live those things out for we are called to be servants. The funny thing is there are usually a few other items on the bucket list. They're outlandish, crazy and by many definitions, self serving. This part of the bucket list reflects a wonderful side of our Father: the Creator, the Artist, and the Comedian. I think both of these are important aspects of the Extraordinary. Without one side, we are entirely self absorbed and spoiled, without the other, we're duty bound soulless slaves. I hate the idea of living exclusively in either realm.
So with that in mind, I present my experience in checking something off the latter part of the list. It's one of those things you do that only makes sense if you really love baseball. Add to that my love of the San Francisco Giants and maybe you'll get the picture.
It started with my dear wife giving me a Father's Day card this year. In it was my gift: a road trip to attend a game at Wrigley Field. If you need context, it's the oldest park in the National League, home to the Chicago Cubs and situated in the colorful North Side of the Second City. It is a mecca for baseball and a touchstone to the past history of the game.

 

If you're a baseball fan, I'm sure can appreciate just how cool this is. It got even cooler when I found out the Giants were playing the Cubs on Labor Day weekend. Even more cooler: the Chicago White Sox had a home game after that meaning a trip to the new Commiskey Park on the South Side. This was hitting the "too cool for words" level of excitement.

I invited my good friend Phil Fishbach on the trip - he's a Reds fan but I'll forgive him for that. On the way we could have seen Purdue play EKU in football or stopped on the way home and saw Cincy play the Phillies, but that would be overkill. With the remants of Hurricane Isaac passing over the Midwest, a concern for rain outs crept in.

Even so, we risked it and took our Mistubishi Eclipse Spyder convertible. This trip is starting to sound like a midlife crisis...

We have a running joke about Phil in that wherever we go with him, he will meet someone he knows from somewhere. Surely enough, on I75 somewhere in south eastern Kentucky, he saw a friend driving by - kind of creepy/scary. We did hit some hard rain in Louisville (or Lou'vil if you're from the south) but besides that, the weather was mild. In Lafayette, IN we hit Triple XXX Burgers (not what you might think) which is a famous diner for Purdue football fans. They're famous for their cheeseburger with PEANUT BUTTER. I wasn't brave enough for that so I ended up with a nice steak and eggs plate called the Drew Brees Breakfast:

Grease was obviously the ingredient deJour on this trip. I happened to be wearing my University Of Tennessee Basketball Camp shirt with Cuonzo Martin's name on it. What I had forgotten was that Martin played at Purdue. I made some friends there without any effort.

We holed up in Merrillville, IN (just as I did with Amanda on our motorcycle trip). Phil's last words to me that night were: "Dude, tomorrow we'll be at Wrigley Field!" 

Taking the L train to the Addison exit on the Red line drops you at the corner of Sheffield and Addison (this was taken after the game):

Phil's reaction to this was "Dude, this is awesome!"

Walking out to this area was hard to describe. There's a vibe, and buzz in the air that I had only experienced at Fenway in Boston. This was the world of baseball. Everything around was about the game. Fans wearing all sorts of Cubs and Giants garb. Baseball themed building, restaurants, street vendors and bars.

Phil's reaction to this was "Dude, this is awesome!"

Circling the perimeter of the stadium and seeing all the things that you hear about on TV and radio was a bit mind blowing. The brick facade on the outside, the bleacher on the roof tops, the statues of Ron Santo, Billy Williams, Harry Carey and Mr. Cub, Ernie Banks:

Phil's reaction to this was "Dude, this is awesome!"

Entering the park and seeing the red bricks, the green bleachers, the Chicago skyline, the green ivy, the big hand operated scoreboard, the lush green grass and players warming up gave me a bit of a chill - I was inside Wrigley Field to see the Giants and the Cubs! When I was four years old, I went to see Mays, and McCovey at Candlestick Park. For a moment I was that excited kid again looking in awe of seeing the wonderful world of baseball. Just think that every great National League player (Aaron, Ott, Mathewson, Gibson, Musial, Koufax just to name a few) has played at Wrigley. Here's where Hack Wilson and Fergie Jenkins made their home. Babe Ruth called his famous shot here.

Phil's reaction to this was "Dude, this is awesome!"

We circled around the park enjoying the sight lines around the box seats. I even went to find the most notorious seat in the house: the Bartman seat. The gentleman who got it didn't even know that was the seats he purchased. He acknowledged that he was not going to ever be left alone during the game, but was fine with it. He got to sit in a place with some cool history:

Phil's reaction to this was "Dude, this is awesome!"

We made our way back to our seats. I noticed at this point that Phil had never stopped smiling since we got off the train. I think he was having a good time. Included in that was through text messaging he was guiding his son through mowing the lawn... Not a bad deal, watching a game in Chicago while the kids do the chores!

To continue the greasy food theme, I had a bratwurst foot long dog with grilled onions and drowning in nacho cheese. I think my arteries are hardening just thinking about it:

First pitch was to Angel Pagan. I was seeing my beloved Giants playing at Wrigley Field!

Phil's reaction to this was "Dude, this is awesome!"
Throughout the game, there's a rumble in the air. This is a place where the heartbeat of the crowd is all in the rhythm of a baseball game. Though they haven't won since 1908, they bleed Cubbie blue here. A few big hits, an unearned run matched by a Soriano home run and then a triple by Brandon Belt resulted in the Giants win. The seventh inning stretch tradition of singing "Take Me Out To The Ballgame" was performed along with some Chicago Blackhawk players (including Hall Of Famer Tony Esposito):

Phil's reaction to this was "Dude, this is awesome!"
With a Giant's 7-5 win, my day at the ballpark was indeed complete:

 Post game in Wrigleyville is just as important. The streets are filled with fans filling bars and restaurants around the ballpark. We had a by the slice pizza place that had something that resembled a slaughterhouse for toppings:

Ah, Chicago pizza! On the way out we had one last glimpse of Wrigley. There's a garage door in right field that is an access way for vehicles. It was left open and I got an unobstructed ground level view of the hallowed grounds:

Phil's reaction to this was "Dude, this is awesome!"
Not sure where this ranks, but this was near the top of the best days ever. I have a feeling Phil would agree.
Although not as cool, the next day at New Commiskey (aka US Cellular Field) was another fun day at the ballpark. The stadium is a typical nice modern ball park with a great sound system and an HD Jumbotron (which is lacking at Wrigley, but not missed).

The White Sox played the Twins  (Sox won 4-2) and we had fourth row boxes down the right field line:

I scored a foot long Commiskey dog that was unbelievable (and greasy):

 

Mustard, pickle spears, peppers, tomato slices, some green stuff and onions. Let's just say that one of those will cover you for dinner. As for experiences, this was a nice day at the ballpark which is great for me. It also checks another baseball stadium off the To Do list.

Although this experience was pretty much a weekend of fun, I sense that God smiled down and showed Phil and I that He is a God of delight. His desire for His children is to enjoy things, laugh and have a good time. In it we can say that in all things God gets the glory. I am deeply thankful that I got this time with a good friend and some good memories.

Dude, this is awesome!

That Punky Kid In The Youth Group: Ode To My Hero Jeremy Powers

With school starting and Fox returning to High School life I went back in my mind to the youth group I used to lead in San Jose. I was there for about ten years and had countless numbers of youth come through the doors. To be honest, I don't remember all of the kids as so many were here and gone all too fast for me to get to know them. Some I have been blessed with keeping their friendships through the years. These amazing young men have showed me that the investment was worth it. It reminds me that God does in fact work in the lives of our youth and they are now out in the world making a difference.
Of course there are ones that stand out more than others. For me one stands out loud and clear. He was part of a family of four brothers. All had long unkempt hair and clothes. They were loud. They also made life uncomfortable for others in the church. The came on Wednesday nights riding in on skateboards. They like their music loud. They always wanted to find the next big jump, the next thing to break and the next thing that would go uncontrollably fast. Oh, if I haven't said it yet, they were loud. They had electric guitars and a drum kit in their garage - you can do the math on what it was like. The boys' last name was Powers. I think it was fitting. When they brought friends to church, it was some of the roughest characters you could ever imagine. I sometimes think I was more of a correctional officer at those times.
The center of this motley crew was the youngest and loudest of them all. His name was Jeremy. If I go through my pictures from that time, he seemed to inject himself into each shot. He once found his way to the top of the camp chapel to see if he could snowboard jump off of it (it has a nice lip for a ramp). He's the only kid who got seriously hurt on a ski trip. We had to cart him down the mountain after he sprained his knee attempting yet another big jump. It was never a surprise when he came to youth group with a black eye, a cast or a splint. Even though he was the smallest kid on his peewee football team, he played nose tackle. Picture the Tasmanian Devil throwing bodies around and you'll get the picture of what he was like on the football field.
Here's the interesting thing about Jeremy and his brothers: they deeply, passionately and even recklessly loved God. They had this deep respect for the leaders. When we were speaking and others were talking over us, you'd here Jeremy yell "Shut up!!!" at them. If someone said that church was stupid, he'd be sure to let them know how stupid they were being. He also would threaten to beat up those who didn't show us respect. I know that even though it wasn't the "right" response, I could see he had passion.
1 Samuel 16:7
But the Lord said to Samuel, “Do not consider his appearance or his height... The Lord does not look at the things people look at. People look at the outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart.”
Jeremy and his family moved to the Northwest when he entered high school. A few years passed and I received a call from his mother. She said that Jeremy had died in a car accident. I spoke with his brother and he said that Jeremy had bought a junk car and tried to fix it up to go fast. Sadly, it was too fast and he crashed it. It was said that at his memorial service, just about every hooligan from the town attended. In life and in death, Jeremy was true to himself. I think that in some ways I have a smile knowing that Jeremy had a very distinct impact on this world. He shook it up, lived it with passion and had a lasting impression on me and probably many others. The candle that shine twice as bright does burn half as long. But what a bright light!
A few things Jeremy definitely taught me was to live life to it's limits; that life unihibited is living; that being passionate has its plusses; that one should NEVER judge a book by its cover; and if I have a say in how I go, I want it in a way that shows that I really lived. In the list in my mind of personal heroes, Jeremy Power is near the top of that list. I regret that I won't have the time on this earth to share that with him.
The last time I talked to the Powers boys, they were being covert missionaries. I remember one of them with a wry smile on his face as he said how he was going to infiltrate the group so that they could change things from within.
Ah, passion!!!
My hope is that we all go through life and see people as God sees them. I hope I can show the love and compassion that each one needs and perhaps we can all live with the reckless fighting spirit of Jeremy Powers. I look forward to seeing him again in my Father's house.

"I don't know what to say really.
Three minutes to the biggest battle of our professional lives all comes down to today.
Either we heal as a team or we are going to crumble.
Inch by inch play by play till we're finished.
We are in hell right now, gentlemen believe me and we can stay here and get the *** kicked out of us or we can fight our way back into the light.
We can climb out of hell. One inch, at a time.

Now I can't do it for you. I'm too old.
I look around and I see these young faces and I think I mean I made every wrong choice a middle age man could make.
I uh.... I p***d away all my money believe it or not.
I chased off anyone who has ever loved me.
And lately, I can't even stand the face I see in the mirror.

You know when you get old in life things get taken from you.
That's, that's part of life.
But, you only learn that when you start losing stuff.
You find out that life is just a game of inches.
So is football. Because in either game life or football the margin for error is so small. I mean
one half step too late or to early you don't quite make it.
One half second too slow or too fast and you don't quite catch it.
The inches we need are everywhere around us.
They are in ever break of the game every minute, every second.

On this team, we fight for that inch
On this team, we tear ourselves, and everyone around us
to pieces for that inch.
We CLAW with our finger nails for that inch.
Cause we know
when we add up all those inches
that's going to make the **** difference
between WINNING and LOSING
between LIVING and DYING.

I'll tell you this
in any fight
it is the guy who is willing to die
who is going to win that inch.
And I know
if I am going to have any life anymore
it is because, I am still willing to fight, and die for that inch
because that is what LIVING is.
The six inches in front of your face.

Now I can't make you do it. You gotta look at the guy next to you. Look into his eyes.
Now I think you are going to see a guy who will go that inch with you.
You are going to see a guy who will sacrifice himself for this team because he knows when it comes down to it, you are gonna do the same thing for him.

That's a team, gentlemen and either we heal now, as a team, or we will die as individuals.That's football guys. That's all it is. Now, whattaya gonna do?"

Excerpt from Al Pacino's "Inch By Inch" speech from Any Given Sunday

Confession: I Was A Party Animal And A Member Of A Boy Band

Yes, the title is very much true. Talking to the right people from my past and you will find out that along with my good friend and then roommate John Williams, we threw some very memorable college parties at our apartment at UC Davis. Also, if you talk to the right people, you will know that I was a member of a short lived boy band that covered N'Sync songs. I'm sure that I have your attention, so here's the explanation...

Acts 2:42-47
"They devoted themselves to the apostles’ teaching and to fellowship, to the breaking of bread and to prayer. Everyone was filled with awe at the many wonders and signs performed by the apostles. All the believers were together and had everything in common. They sold property and possessions to give to anyone who had need. Every day they continued to meet together in the temple courts. They broke bread in their homes and ate together with glad and sincere hearts, praising God and enjoying the favor of all the people. And the Lord added to their number daily those who were being saved."

While in college I was heavily involved with Inter Varsity Christian Fellowship. This was truly the first time that I started on a path of healing and maturing in Christ. I know that for many, college is a time that one's faith is heavily challenged, here I found the teaching and fellowship that would strengthen my faith and start a process of healing from my childhood scars. What was most important to this, was the love I received from the people there. I developed some of the best life long friends any one could ever have. We lived in a generous and accepting community. We prayed together, studied the Word together and laughed a lot together. It would be my sincerest prayer that everyone should at some point in time be involved in a fellowship like this. It is so freeing and refreshing. One thing that is so special and unique about these friends is that at any time that I reconnect with them, we can pretty much pick up right where we left off. We can easily share what's really going on inside. We can laugh, cry and pray together. It is a safe, and warm place that we all share.
We also had a lot of fun together.
Not only did we play sports, go to movies, go out to dinner, hang out talking for all too long a time (alas you could always find me between classes at the Memorial Union with John) but also we partied. Not like the usual college drinking party, but something just as crazy, but a lot more safe (and legal). John and I threw from what I gather now, were the be and end all dance parties of our college lives. It was pretty much one large mosh pit with everyone piled in. Cranking out hits from genres like Motown (Marvin Gaye, Gladys Knight and the Pips, The Temptations), surf (Surfaris, Jan and Dean, The Beach Boys), soul (The Pointer Sisters) ,80s (in the decade of the 80s) and even Contemporary Christian (Leon Patillo, Steve Taylor); we danced the night away. It was a loud, frantic and obviously a memorable time.

Psalm 144:12
"Then our sons in their youth
    will be like well-nurtured plants,
and our daughters will be like pillars
    carved to adorn a palace."
For 10 years and then off and on for the next few years I either led or helped lead the youth groups at various churches I attended. It was a rich and rewarding time investing in young people's lives. Coming to know the Lord in my Middle School days always gave me a heart for that age group. Being the small awkward kid gave me a lot of understanding for this age group. After college I poured a ton of my time into the youth hoping that they would know Christ's amazing love and that His transforming power would deeply impact their lives. I know I taught countless numbers of Bible Studies and had the occasional very deep conversation that hit the important areas of a few of these kids. Like the IVCF group in college, we also had a lot of fun together. I realize how much I miss the laughter of youth - especially when knowing that some had very little laughter at home. I feel so privileged to know that many of these young people have grown up to be passionate about their Savior. Some are married and have their own families and few are even in full time ministry.
So where does this all connect to parties and boy bands?
As for college friends, we reconnected in Guatemala on a mission trip to the scenic Western Highlands in a little village called Panyebar. There, I got with some of my friends. When we got to memories of our days at Davis, my friend Bruce (who wrote a great article for Christianity Today) got hung up on one memory: our dance parties! It seemed that everyone in the group remembered them most fondly. No deep conversation, no insights in the Word, just the fact that at one point in my life, I threw a great party. Considering my teen daughters were there when he mentioned it, I'm not sure that's what I wanted them to hear.
Here's a picture of the "guys" in Guatemala:

Second, I went back to visit the church where I used to lead the youth group. I am so very excited to know that two guys I used to have in youth are now pastors there. The senior pastor is Jason Helveston who is an amazing young man. I know God is doing great things through him. Once again, we started to reminisce about the good old days. Again I held out on to the obviously vain hope that he'd remember a great conversation, or perhaps an insightful Bible study lesson that I had shared with him. It wasn't to be. His most significant remembrance of me? When he and I and three other guys in the youth group got up in front of the church and performed a bunch of N'Sync songs (This I Promise You, Bye Bye Bye, God Must Have Spent A Little More Time On You). It seemed to be an important memory as before I hooked up with him, I bumped into his wife and the first thing she said was that I was "The guy who sang N'Sync songs with Jason." I'm sure that even in my late thirties, it wasn't a pretty sight seeing me dancing around singing songs I just learned about fifteen minutes earlier not to mention the fact that they were teen "pretty boy" love songs. Let's just say I'm not taking Justin Timberlake's place any time soon.

Phillipians 2:1-3

"In your relationships with one another, have the same mindset as Christ Jesus:

Who, being in very nature God, 

    did not consider equality with God something to be used to his own advantage;

Rather, he made himself nothing 

    by taking the very nature of a servant, 

    being made in human likeness. "

I've thought a lot about why people in my life remember things like dance parties and me making a fool of myself acting like a teen idol. My daughter Ariel gave me the insight that I was missing: Connection. In my all too self conscious self I most of time am unwilling to step out of my comfort zone. When I do step out, I am connecting with those I desire to minister to. Of course that is exactly what Christ did for us. In essence it's a Christ-like act to step out to connect with others. My introverted self struggles with that, but I know that in the moments that I do step out it has had an impact. The beauty is that the connection to others lasts eternally. So I'll say it proudly that I threw some great wild parties in college. Also, I am a retired member of the N'Sync cover boy band which we called Sync'N (which is pretty much what we did). More importantly, I get the joy of spending eternity with some amazing friends of whom I love deeply.

"Dance, children dance, children dance unto me..."

Philander Rodman: This Explains A Lot Of Things

What thoughts come to your mind when you think of Dennis Rodman? Hall Of Famer? NBA Champion? Relentless rebounder? Shutdown defender? Taunter? Bully? Cross dresser? Deadbeat father? Nose piercing? Rainbow colored hair? Bad boy? Freak? One has to wonder about a man who acts so completely outrageous that all of the above could be correct answers. Anybody who authors a book titled "Bad As I Want To Be" truly craves to provoke and in Rodman's case act in increasingly bizarre ways. Like my previous article the question begs, where did this all come from? I know this will sound like a broken record, but look at his father: Philander Rodman.
Take a moment to look up the term Philander and you'll think that whoever named him was quite prophetic: 29 (TWENTY NINE) children from 16 (SIXTEEN) different women. From the sound of things, the elder Rodman has not been a part of Dennis' life since three years old. On top of that, he seems to live in this fantasy world that he's the long lost father of Dennis Rodman. No, he's a passive, self serving, deserting person who failed to take responsibility of being a man and a father.
Now read Dennis Rodman's quote:
"My father isn't part of my life. I haven't seen him in more than thirty years, so what is there to miss? I just look at it like this: Some man brought me into this world. That doesn't mean I have a father; I don't. I could say, 'This is my father. This is my dad,' but that doesn't sound right to me. I grew up with my mother and two younger sisters, Debra and Kim. There wasn't a male role model in my life until I got to college and started getting my [act] together."
One can argue whether Rodman has gotten his act together, but the bottom line is this. His life is one of confusion played out on a public stage. Sadly, he lacked the firm and loving direction that God instituted earthly fathers to provide. Even if one excuses his strange choices in fashion, he still is an insecure and irresponsible man.
Many of us struggle with the concept that God punishes the children for the sins of the father. In fact, it's number 2 on His Top Ten List:

Exodus 20:4-6
"You shall not make for yourself an image in the form of anything in heaven above or on the earth beneath or in the waters below. You shall not bow down to them or worship them; for I, the Lord your God, am a jealous God, punishing the children for the sin of the parents to the third and fourth generation of those who hate me, but showing love to a thousand generations of those who love me and keep my commandments."

What I see in this is the fact that our actions have consequences. We do reap what we sow. Sin does not exist in a vacuum. There are no victim less crimes. There's price to be paid and we need to pony up at times. Pretty harsh? Philander Rodman worships the idol of himself. Perhaps even more compelling is the fact that Philander Rodman is a Junior meaning there was also a Philander Rodman Sr. Now one has to take into account how God ordained things. Does Philander Sr. have something to do with this? If so, his third generation has been deeply affected by whatever idolatry he was involved in.
Perhaps I'm being a little soft on my stance, but it's clear to me that the sins of the father or grandfather will bring the natural consequence of hardship upon the sons. As you can tell from my tone, this really bothers me. Being involved with youth, foster parenting, mentoring younger men and talking with male peers has made it perfectly clear: the father's good and bad deeds affect the children. We need to break this cycle. I consider myself culpable too. Even though the children in my house have experienced abandonment by their birth dads, I know that I carry the deep responsibility as the dad who was there on a day to day basis. Many times I have failed. To both Ariel and Amanda I have needed to speak to them as adults and apologize for the ways I fell short as a dad. My prayer for all my kids is that the true Father can bring about the life and healing that I fell short of providing.
So I conclude by once again pointing to our real Dad. Yes, you can call Him Daddy if you need. You can be formal or deeply intimate with Him. But realize that we all need Him. He's the one we can run to embrace and know that we are safe.